Whips and Whipped Cream
by lizfanfiction
Summary: Sequel to A Little Birdy Told Me you can read this without reading ALBTM, though. Those pesky nurses are at it again. Now that they've discovered Cameron's mystery man, their new target of gossip is the one and only Dr. Robert Chase.
1. Prologue

**Whips and Whipped Cream** - By Liz

Prologue

It had been two weeks since House and Cameron had very publicly displayed their affection for one another, and let's just say they were no longer taking precautions to hide their feelings anymore. Now, as entertaining as this was for the gossipy nurses of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, it was also rather sickening. And after a while, it had become just plain boring. For the last few months, Dr. Cameron had become their prime target of gossip as they tried to figure out who her mystery man was. After considering nearly every man (and a few women, actually), House and Cameron had finally made their relationship public... very public. Now, as upset as Cuddy was that her Head of Diagnostics and his young immunologist fellow were making out in the middle of her Clinic, she was also rather relieved. No more gossip from those d4mn nurses. At least for now. It seemed that everyone in the Diagnostics Department, and even the Head of Oncology, James Wilson, shared her feelings of relief. But everyone knew that those nurses wouldn't rest for long. Now that they'd figured out Cameron's mystery man, who would their next target be...?

TBC


	2. The Search

The Search

House and Cameron had been working their Clinic hours all day. One look at the log, and you would probably understand why Katie and Brenda had to have barf bags under their desks. Four hours, FOUR, and between the TWO of them, only three patient had been seen. Three. After that, it was "Oh, Greg, wanna take a stroll to Exam Room 2 with me?" and "Why Allison, you naughty girl!" Frankly, Nurses Katie and Brenda regretted the day they spread their first rumor about Allison Cameron (much to House's delight). And yet, they couldn't help but feel a sense of withdrawl. It seemed that the most interesting thing going on in PPTH had to deal with House and Cameron... and those were waters no sane person dared swim ever again. Katie and Brenda were on a mission. There had to be a bit of juicy gossip out there somewhere!

Now, as fate would have it, the rest of the Diagnostic Team was working in the clinic that morning as well. They didn't have a case, so where else would they be? Wasting their time with crosswords? Of course not! Why would you think such things? As an attempt to distract herself from the sickening sight of House and Cameron, Nurse Katie made her way to her 'one true love', Dr. Chase. She hadn't spoken to him ever since she declared her love a bit too loudly to him two weeks ago, and he wouldn't have had it any other way. Frankly, Chase was a bit afraid of the young nurse. Not to mention, she had a very large mouth...

"Chase?" asked Katie in all her innocence.

"Uhh... Hi, Katie... Got another file for me?" Chase was beyond uncomfortable with Katie, and it was quite obvious to everyone around him.

"Oh, no, no file," said Katie. "I just needed to get my mind off of House and Cameron."

"Oh..."

"Wanna grab a cup of coffee?"

Chase hesitated. "Look, I've got a lot of work to do, and uh--"

"Oh please? It'll be quick, I promise," begged Katie. She was acting like a schoolgirl (not for the first time, I must mention). "I'll even pay." She gave him an award-winning smile before dragging him out of the clinic.

"Look, Katie, I--"

"Chase, I know you have feelings for me, you don't have to hide them anymore!" said Katie as viewed the coffee menu.

"Um, Katie, I don't think you quite underst--"

"Decafe okay?"

"Uh, sure," said Chase. "Katie, listen--"

Katie wouldn't have it. No way Chase was going to get away from her. She handed him his coffee. "Here you go." Another bright smile.

"Um, thanks." Chase took the coffee and tried to escape, but Katie wouldn't have it.

"Why do you keep trying to avoid me, Robert?" she asked.

Chase sighed. "I... uh... I have some work to do. Can we do this later?"

"You don't have work to do. You've been in the clinic all morning!"

Leave it to HER to know his whereabouts. What was she? A stocker? Chase wouldn't put it past her. Well, he had to admit, she DID work in the clinic. That didn't stop her from obsessing over his every move though. "Katie, I really don't think this is a good idea. I'm sorry."

Katie was heart-broken. Her 'one true love' had rejected her. Would she ever live? No, she would probably die without him. How could Chase deny her? "But... but... Robert..." she stammered. "I... I... I lov--"

"You love me," said Chase. "Yeah, I heard two weeks ago. Thanks." Chase rolled his eyes and bit his lips in fear. He ran away like a scared little Aussi would in such times, leaving Katie alone in the cafeteria.

Katie was devestated. She felt herself dying deep down. (God, she was such a drama queen.) Nonetheless, she managed to go through the first stages of death rather quickly. Well, actually, she'd taken the fast-track to anger. Dr. Chase had just left her heart-broken in the middle of the hospital cafeteria, and he didn't even seem to care! Well, he would regret the day he said "no" to Katie Wyatt.

TBC


	3. Clinical Romps and Bedtime Blackmail

Clinical Romps and Bedtime Blackmail

Katie huffed back into the Nurse's Station, and Brenda noticed of course. She did her best to notice anything possible in hopes that she would stop noticing House and Cameron.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" asked Brenda.

Katie stared at her in shock. "Since when do YOU use phrases like that?!"

Brenda cupped her face in her hands. Realization hit her when she realized where she'd first heard the phrase. "House needs to stop spending so much time in the Clinic."

Katie laughed. "Never thought I'd hear anyone say that."

Breanda smirked. "So... what's wrong?"

Katie sighed. "Robert refuses to go out with me. He's been ignoring me for two weeks! Now he won't even talk to me if I try."

"Well you probably scared him off with your 'I love you!' thing..."

Katie rolled her eyes. "What am I going to do?"

Brenda thought for a moment. "You could... Get him, get mad, or get even." She grinned.

"Can we do all of the above?"

Both nurses giggled as passing doctors ran away with a knowing look. When Nurses Katie and Brenda laughed together, there was most definitely trouble in the making.

---------------

"I have to get back to work," murmered Cameron. She was currently in a very naughty position under Dr. House. They were having a little afternoon delight in their favoirte hospital room, Exam 2.

"Ahh... do you have to?" whined House.

"Yes, she does!" shouted a voice from outside the door.

Cameron blushed brightly as she heard Cuddy's voice. The doorknob started turning, but stopped when the sound of shuffling was heard. Cameron and House were obviously making a quick search to gather all of their clothes. Two minutes later, Cuddy opened the door to find House and Cameron rather out of breath.

"Oh that's just gross," said Cuddy. "House, I told you to stop doing that in my Clinic..." Cuddy was shaking her head.

"Um, nope," said House. "I think you waved that particular demand when you asked for my help with your troubles with Bren--"

Cuddy shushed him. "We're not speaking of that! Got it?!"

Cameron giggled, and House smirked. Good times.

"Got it boss," said House. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my... clinic duty."

Cuddy stared down at her log. "You two are ON DUTY?!" She stormed into the exam room, slamming the door behind her. "USING THIS ROOM FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE IS ONE THING, BUT YOU CAN'T DO IT WHILE YOU'RE ON DUTY. I WANT THREE EXTRA HOURS OUT OF BOTH OF YOU. GOT IT?!"

"Somebody's hormonal..." suggested House quietly in Cameron's direction. Cameron and Cuddy just slapped him on either arm. "Ow," he said, "Stop abusing the cripple. I have rights too, you know."

"Get back to work," said Cuddy turning around to leave. "NOW." She slammed the door behind her. The nurses noticed this and had no doubt in their minds that it had something to do with Drs. House and Cameron's latest romp in Exam Room 2.

-------------

Chase made sure not to return to the Clinic for the rest of the day. Heck, if he could stay away forever, he would, but Cuddy wouldn't let him out of it. He stormed awkwardly into the Conference Room where Foreman awaited. Perfect, just great! First Katie was chasing after him all day, and now he was left alone with the one person who knew his deepest, darkest, and shall we say dirtiest secret?

Foreman smirked as Chase entered the room. Two weeks ago, he had seen a rather dirty pice of leather fall out of Chase's lab coat pocket, and he was going to be d4mned if he'd let him live it down. If anything, he could get some credit with those nurses in the Clinic with this newest bit of information. It was a known fact in PPTH that when you knew a juicy secret, it was always wise to tell Katie and Brenda (as long as it wouldn't affect you directly) because once you did, they would ease up on you when it came to your clinic hours. They could make sure that 4 on the log looked more like a 9, if you catch my drift. Foreman, however, being the 'ethical' doctor that he is, was still deciding whether or not to tell the nurses. Chase wasn't the BEST friend he'd ever had, and clinic hours were most certainly a b!tch, but that didn't change the fact that Chase would probably find a way to get back at him for it.

"Stop smiling at me like that," said Chase rudely.

Foreman laughed. "Shouldn't you be happy that haven't let this slip? If I were you, I'd be treating me a bit nicer than that, Dr. Chase..." If Foreman couldn't get anything out of Katie and Brenda, he was going to make sure he could get it out of Chase.

"What? So now you're blackmailing me?!"

Foreman shrugged.

"You're no better than House, you know that?"

Foreman laughed and shook his head. He returned his attention to the sudoku puzzle in front of him, but his thoughts drifted to Chase. What could Chase give him that no one else could? What could Katie and Brenda give him that no one else could? Oh, this was going to get good.

TBC


	4. Cream in the Clinic

Cream in the Clinic

Katie and Brenda had been plotting their revenge on Chase all day, and yet nothing seemed to come to mind. They didn't have the one thing that would help them pull it all off. They didn't have leverage, or anything. They'd considered asking around to see if anyone knew anything 'good' about Dr. Chase.

-----

After much consideration, Foreman had finally come to a decision. He realized that Chase knew nothing about him that he could later hold against him in Court Katie, and the only way Chase could ever get back at him would be with some juvenile prank. Foreman could handle that... as long as he got out of some clinic duty that is.

-----

Meanwhile, in Exam 2, House and Cameron were finishing up their 'clinic duty.' But, since it was lunch time, House had brought down some strawberries and whipped cream...

"Strawberries and cream," smiled Cameron. "How absolutely delicious."

"Oh, they're just the side dish," said House.

Cameron grinned. "And what would the main course be?"

"Let me show you."

Cameron proceded to let House demonstrate their main dish...

-----

"Find any good dirt yet?" asked a rather needy Katie.

"None so far," sighed Brenda. "But come on, it's CHASE. I'm sure someone knows something!"

Katie giggled. "Maybe we should put up fliers."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "Or post it on laughter was interrupted by the sound of very loud laughter from Exam 2. So far, she'd learned to block out the screaming, but laughter, now that was a new sound...

-----

House was trying to get the whipped cream to come out, but it wouldn't budge. He shook and shook it and shook it. Nothing. But finally, after sticking his face right in front of the opening to see if their was something stuck in it, the whipped cream finally came shooting out all over his face. Cameron laughed hysterically, so loud in fact, that people in the waiting room (and probably those darn nurses) could hear.

"Would you like me to clean that off for you?" said Cameron in a husky tone.

"Why thank you, Dr. Cameron," smirked House.

Cameron grinned and continued on to clean off House's face with nothing but her tongue. House's moans and groans of pleasure could be heard from the nurse's station as well...

-----

"I can't take this anymore," said Katie shaking her head. She got up from her seat and stormed over to Exam 2. Patients from the waiting room could only imagine what was going on in there (and hoped they wouldn't have to find out).

Katie knocked hard on the door. "HOUSE! CAMERON!"

No answer.

"GET YOUR SORRY 4SSES OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

No answer. Katie waited briefly before a sound came from the window. She walked around to look. The blinds were being pulled up slightly from the inside. They stopped, and quickly a hand appeared from inside, a masculine hand, obviously House's. It was holding... a bottle of whipped cream?

-----

"Don't you dare," whispered Cameron.

House just smirked. He raised the whipped cream bottle to the window.

"Greg, noooo..." whispered Cameron. She tried to pull his hand down, but he was too strong for her.

House sprayed the whipped cream all over the window, spelling the words 'Hi Katie!' on it.

Cameron giggled, and House just grinned.

-----

"Oh that's just great!" shouted Katie.

"What's just great?" asked Cuddy walking up to her youngest nurse.

"House and Cameron are getting whipped cream all over Exam 2!"

"WHAT?!"

Katie pointed to the window.

"HOUSE!" shouted Cuddy. "GET YOUR 4SS OUT HERE NOW!"

-----

House smirked and wrote 'Hi Cuddles!' on the window next to his message to Katie.


	5. Down and Dirty

Down and Dirty

"Oh that's just gross," said Katie. She scoffed at House's whipped cream writing and stormed back to the Nurse's Station where Brenda awaited. Only this time, she was accompanied by a certain neurologist...

-----

"I can't believe you did that," whispered Cameron.

House smirked. "What's not to believe? I mess up the Clinic. I make Cuddy mad. I make KATIE mad... So, what's wrong?"

Cameron rolled her eyes at him. "We really SHOULD be working, you know."

"Killjoy."

Cameron smirked and began to gather her clothes as a pounding sounded at the door.

-----

Cuddy pounded on the door to Exam 2. "HOUSE! CAMERON! GET OUT HERE NOW!" Patients from all over the waiting room were staring at Cuddy. The nurses and doctors in the area thought nothing of it; they were used to House's and Cameron's romps in Exam 2. After much knocking and banging, Cuddy finally got an answer from inside the exam room.

-----

"Would you STOP that BANGING?!" shouted House.

Cameron sighed. "We'll be right out Cuddy... Don't want us coming out naked do you?"

House smirked. "Why, Cameron! I'm sure Cuddy wouldn't mind at all. Let me just--" House began to fiddle with the doorknob.

-----

Cuddy immediately backed away from the door of Exam 2, completely disgusted. That was just gross. "HOUSE! Ew... Just, get out here, NOW! And you had BOTH better have your clothes on, or so help me--" Cuddy's threats were stifled by laughter in the exam room. "You think this is funny, HOUSE?!"

-----

"Absolutely," said House nonchalantly. "Why wouldn't I?"

At that moment, House and Cameron emerged from Exam 2. House had a grin plastered on his face, and Cameron's was a bright red. She was blushing from head to toe and just wanted to get the heck out of that clinic. She knew that House had made it a point to have every patient hear them, and now Cuddy was going to make that even more obvious.

"Get your 4sses in my office, NOW," said Cuddy.

House rolled his eyes. "But you said we could--"

Cuddy stared at him evilly. "I said NOTHING about whipped cream."

House's eyebrows shot up. "Fine," he said, "I suppose I'll have to go tell Katie that you and Bre--"

"HOUSE!" shouted Cuddy. "Clean up that whipped cream... and then... finish your clinic duty... YOUR REAL CLINIC DUTY!" Cuddy stormed back into her office, shaking her head all the way. D4mn that House and his rumors.

House stood there with a giant smirk on his face. Cameron, however, wasn't quite as pleased.

"Would you stop grinning like that?" asked Cameron, almost disgusted.

"Like what? You people spend two years trying to make me happy, and now that I actually AM happy, you try to take all that away!" House smirked down at Cameron.

"You'd better find better ways to make yourself happy," said Cameron, shaking her head, "Because I am NOT using whipped cream in this clinic EVER again... got it?!"

House could tell she was lying. She was obviously just upset. Probably PMSing. Yup, that was it. "Whatever you say, BOSS." House rolled his eyes and went over to help Cameron wipe off the whipped cream that had exploded all over the room when House had tried to get it to open. Cameron was working on the window. Well, House couldn't resist himself, of course. One thing led to another... and the two were going back for seconds...

-----

"Oh," said Katie a little upset at not having found any dirt on Chase yet, "Hello, Dr. Foreman. How can I help you? Checking in for clinic duty? Might I suggest a later time..." Katie motioned over to the whipped cream that was smeared all over the window (House and Cameron were getting down and dirty) of Exam 2.

Foreman rolled his eyes at the sight. He had no doubt in his mind how that whipped cream had gotten there. "No, no clinic duty now. I just wanted to ask you something..."

"Okay..." said Katie, a little suspicious of Foreman's intentions.

"If I were to tell you something... interesting... about a certain Austrailian intensivist... what would be in it for me?" Foreman smirked down at the young nurse.

Katie's face lit up. Foreman had dirt! Foreman had dirt! "Anything!" she shouted. "Whatever you want! JUST TELL ME ALREADY!" Katie didn't even realize she'd been shouting at Foreman. Nor did she realize that every single patient in the Clinic was now staring at her. D4mn patients.

TBC


	6. The Word is Out

The Word Is Out

Foreman looked around to make sure no one was listening but Katie, which was pretty useless. After all, when you tell Katie something, you might as well just shout it over the hospital's intercom. Well, that didn't matter, I suppose. Foreman subonciously leaned over and whispered in Katie's ear. He spilled his guts about Chase, much to Katie's pleasure. Interesting thoughts, ideas, and plans filled her mind. Foreman backed up and looked around to see who was observing them. No one.

"So who all are you going to tell?" asked Foreman.

Katie's jaw dropped. "I can't believe you would say that, Dr. Foreman!"

Foreman chuckled and gave her a knowing smirk. "Seriously, Katie, who are you going to tell?"

Katie bit her lip and thought for a moment. Seconds later, a grin spread accross her face. "No one."

"What?" Foreman was confused. Didn't Katie's life revolve around making the doctors miserable with her gossip and blackmail? Oh wait, that was House. Foreman shuddered at the thought of how similar the two were.

"I'm... not going to tell anyone," said Katie. With that, she headed back to the Nurses' Station to do some actual work for a change. Foreman just grabbed another file and headed into Exam 3. Exam 2 was currently... off limits. ;)

-----

"Oh god that feels so good..." mumbled Cameron without thinking.

"It would feel even better if we had--"

"No whipped cream," snapped Cameron.

House rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Cameron grinned. "Still got those strawberries?"

"Oh, so YOU get strawberries, but I don't get my whipped cream?"

"I think you've already used up all the whipped cream, Dr. House," said Cameron. She nodded in the direction of the window where whipped cream was now smeared all over.

House smirked. "I'm sure there's still a little left."

Cameron rolled her eyes dramatically. "Fine, but if you make a mess, YOU get to answer to Cuddy, not me."

House looked back at the window. "I think we've already made a mess."

Cameron giggled and started spraying whipped cream over the strawberries... then over House...

-----

Cuddy was becoming rather frantic. Her most affectionate and least affectionate doctors were currently faking their clinic duty, and she couldn't do anything about it. D4mn those nurses and their rumors. Oh well, at least they promised not to use whipped cr---

"What the hell!" shouted Cuddy. She had passed by Exam 2 and shouted her anger a bit too loudly. Everyone was staring at her, so she blushed. "Sorry, she said... Um, get back to your business... KATIE!"

Katie looked up from her work and rushed quickly to Cuddy's side. "Yes, Dr. Cuddy?"

"What the Hell is this?"

"Um, that would be whipped cream, Dr. Cuddy."

"And why is it ALL OVER the window?!"

"Do I have to answer that?" Katie gave Cuddy a worried look.

Cuddy just sighed, and Katie took it as a no, so she ran back to her clercial duties in the Nurses' Station. Cuddy on the other hand was in the mood to yell at someone, and that someone was in Exam 2.

-----

"Okay," said Chase finally getting the guts to come down to the Clinic, "What do you want?"

Foreman grinned. "Too late."

"What do you mean... too late?"

"I mean... too late."

"Too late?" Chase was worried. "Oh god, what did you do, who did you tell?!"

Foreman's smirk said more than words could tell.

-----

"HOUSE!" shouted Cuddy. She started banging on the door to Exam 2. "OUT! NOW! I TOLD YOU TWO TO GET BACK TO WORK!"

-----

House laughed, but Cameron looked worried. "Relax," whispered House, but Cameron didn't seemed convinced. "WE WERE JUST CLEANING!" shouted House. "CAN'T YOU TELL?"

-----

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "YEAH! THE WINDOW LOOKS REALLLLL CLEAN!"

-----

"I MISTAKED THE WHIPPED CREAM FOR SOAP," said House. "CAN YOU BLAME ME?!"

-----

"YES," shouted Cuddy. A vein was about to pop in her forehead. She should seriously just fire House and emerge from this Hellhole.

-----

House smirked. He and Cameron, now fully dressed (House's fight with Cuddy had bought them some time to gather their garments), quickly darted out the door of Exam 2, and past Cuddy. Man, for a cripple, he could limp pretty fast.


	7. Whatcha Gonna Do About It?

Whatcha Gonna Do About It?

Cuddy found House and Cameron hiding out in the lab. At least Cameron was doing work this time. House was just sitting there admiring her 'pretty hair'. Cuddy scoffed at the sight.

"House--"

"Cuddy, my sunshine, what can I do for you this lovely morning?"

"It's actually afternoon, House."

"Is it really?" asked House. "Hm, Cameron and I must have missed lunch."

"No we had those--" Cameron smirked as Cuddy cut her off.

"House, get down to the Clinic, NOW, and PLEASE clean off that window," begged Cuddy. "Do you have ANY idea what it's like to be the administrator of a hospital where your doctors are having casual romps in the Clinic? Do you have ANY clue how those patients were staring at me?! You owe me for this, House. The least you could do is go clean up your mess."

"Actually, I think it's YOU that owes ME--"

"HOUSE," shouted Cuddy. She pointed to the door. "CLINIC. NOW."

House scowled and got up to leave with Cameron at his heels.

"Oh no you don't," said Cuddy. "No way are you helping him."

"But I--"

"I don't want him to get too... distracted." Cuddy nearly gagged at the thought as she pushed House out of the lab. Cameron just shrugged and returned to her research.

-----

Chase had only been working clinic duty for five minutes before things started feeling a bit more awkward than usual.

"Hi, Dr. Chase," said Katie rather seductively.

"Um... hi... Katie..." Chase reached for a file, but Katie pulled it away from his reach. "Katie, I need the file."

"Word has it you have a lot of... needs." Katie winked at him before handing him the file.

Chase's face went red as he snatched the file from Katie. He hurried away to the exam room as quickly as possible. No way Foreman was going to get away with this.

-----

"Need some help?" asked Wilson. He was staring down at his friend who was busy scrubbing away at the window of Exam Room 2.

House just smirked. "If it were up to me, this cr--"

"Don't even answer," said Wilson rather disgusted. "Hand me a scrubber."

House did as he was told and handed Wilson a sponge.

"How do you manage to corrupt a girl as innocent as Cameron to do things like this?" asked Wilson. Truth was, he was rather perplexed.

"Well, it took me about two months of girly dinners and dumb dates," said House, "But I finally got what I deserved."

"You think THIS is what you deserve?!" shouted Wilson. "You deserve SOMETHING, House, but sex in Exam 2 is definitely not it." Wilson finished the spot he had been working on, and he threw the sponge at House.

House cowered as the sponge came flying his way. "What? You're just going to ditch me? I have a whole window to clean!"

"You wouldn't have a whole window to clean if you hadn't--" Wilson's voice got cut off as he slammed the door to Exam 2, leaving House in his own bitter silence.

"Stupid Wilson," muttered House. "Has no respect for cripples." With that, House shook his head and continued his scrubbing.

-----

"How much did you tell her?" asked Chase. He was beyond worried, beyond angry. He was just... a flustered little wombat. That's what he was.

"How much did I tell who?" asked Foreman. He looked up from his sudoku puzzle.

"Stop playing games with me!" shouted Chase.

"But Chase," smirked Foreman, "I thought you liked... games."

Chase blushed brightly. "Foreman... How. Much. Did. You. Tell. Her?"

Foreman grinned. "Everything."

Chase's jaw dropped. "How could--"

"Whatcha gonna do about it?"

Chase shut his mouth. Foreman was just asking for it now. He stormed out of the room. If Foreman thought that he was just going to let this slide, well, he had something else coming to him...

TBC


	8. Wouldn't You Like To Know

Wouldn't You Like To Know

"Geez," said Cameron. "What's up with you?"

Chase had just stormed into the lab to see Cameron busy at her work for what would seem like the first time in a long time. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, it sure looks like it."

Chase huffed and grabbed some samples to test. "Foreman... knew a secret of mine--"

Cameron grinned.

"Stop smiling."

"Sorry, continue."

"He knew a secret of mine, and he promised not to tell."

"Yeah, sounds horrible."

"He told Katie."

Cameron almost laughed. "Maybe he just wanted to get out of some Clinic hours."

"I would have done his hours! But no, he had to have Katie take them off!"

"You would have done his hours? That bad huh?"

Chase rolled his eyes. "It was just... personal. That's all."

"Right..."

Chase was desperate to change the subject. "Where's House anyways? You two have been joined at the hip since-- Let me rephrase that--"

Cameron started laughing. "He's cleaning up his mess in the Clinic."

"You mean YOUR mess. From what I hear, you were with him."

"Cuddy didn't want me to... distract him."

"That's gross." Chase shook his head and stormed out of the lab. Was there no safe place in PPTH anymore?

-----

"Having fun, Dr. House?"

House looked up to find Katie smirking down at him. "What do you want now?"

"What did I do, House? I just wanted to make sure you were having fun!"

House rolled his eyes.

"And I--"

"I knew it."

Katie laughed and kneeled down by House. "I'll finish cleaning up this mess," said Katie, "If you tell me what time Chase gets off of work."

House was interested now. "Why would you care what time Chase gets off work?"

"I'm... having dinner with him tonight."

"No you aren't. If you were having dinner with him, you'd have no problem asking him yourself, which means... You want to know something about him without him knowing." House grinned. "My my, Nurse Katie. A new bit of gossip I see?"

"It's nothing," said Katie. "Do you want me to finish cleaning this or not?"

House thought for a moment. "He gets off at 6. Have fun..." With that, House dropped the sponge into the soapy water so that it would splash all over Katie.

"Thanks, House." Katie rolled her eyes. At least she knew what time Chase got off now.

"No problem," said House. "And don't for a second think that I'm not going to find out what you're hiding..."

"Hou--"

House quickly closed the door to Exam 2 before Katie could stop him.

-----

"Hello my little wombat," said House with an evil grin.

Chase sighed. Could this day get any worse? "Hi House."

"I have a piece of information that you might like to know."

"Oh god," said Chase quickly. "What did Katie tell you?"

House smiled. "So you know she knows something about you, eh? Interesting."

"How much... did she... tell you?" Chase gulped.

House shrugged. "Wouldn't you like to know."

TBC


	9. Crack That Whip

Crack That Whip

House was GOING to tell Chase that it would be wise for him to leave an hour early today in exchange for an extra hour tomorrow, but he decided otherwise when he realized how much fun he could have with Chase now. Chase could tell something was going on with House, and he had no idea how to get it out of him. Besides, it was quitting time anyways, and he just wanted to go home.

Katie spotted Chase leaving the Conference Room from her hiding place in... the waiting room? Okay, so she was still out in the open, but Nurse Katie had changed out of her scrubs and into some low hipster jeans and a very revealing tank top. She was also doing her best to hide her face behind a TeenPeople Magazine. Exactly one minute (to the second) after Chase had left, Katie got up and followed his tracks.

-----

"Uh oh," said Cameron.

"What?" asked House.

"Why are you smiling?"

House smiled wider, and Cameron just sighed.

"This can't be good," said Cameron. "What did you do now?"

"I didn't do anything," said House. "I just happen to know a little secret, or rather I know that someone ELSE knows a secret about a certain person, and that certain person knows that I know, but they don't know how MUCH I know. Truth is I don't know that much. Anyways, I know enough to make his life hell, well, I suppose I won't be the one making his life hell, it'll be someone else. It was just me that made sure that no one could prevent making his life hell. I guess I just get the satisfaction in knowing that this CERTAIN person... will CERTAINLY go through hell."

Cameron's mouth was open and she was staring at House dumbly. "... What?"

House smirked. "Women. You don't understand anything."

"I don't think ANYONE could understand THAT, Greg."

"Sure they could; I did."

"Uh huh." Cameron rolled her eyes and left the lab with House on her heels, as always. (They were joined at the hip, you know.)

-----

"Where's Nurse Katie?" asked Foreman. Katie normally didn't leave until around 7 because sadly, she had no one to go home to but her shrine to Chase (okay, that shrine was just a myth).

"She left early," said Brenda.

"How come?" asked Foreman.

Brenda shrugged. "She said she had a date or something. I don't know. She didn't say much."

Foreman looked at her quizzically. "What time did she take off?"

"About 5:45? 6:00? I think... I don't know."

Foreman grinned. That was the same time Chase had left...

-----

Chase was exhausted. He wanted to just plop down on the couch and watch some Grey's Anatomy (don't tell anyone, but it's his favorite show) before heading off to bed. Well, after his daily dose of Grey's Anatomy and one pizza later, Chase decided it would be okay to head to bed early (even though it was only 9). Once he got into the bedroom, he had a surprise waiting for him...

"Hello, Wombat," said a saucy girl on his bed. She was dressed in a very tight, very revealing leather miniskirt with matching top. It was complete with a mask and all. Chase would normally freak out if he weren't just a little bit turned on by the whip that the young woman was stroking with her hand.

"Uh... what did you call me?" Chase was choking on his own words.

"Wombat," said the young woman. "You're obviously Australian."

Chase gulped as the woman stood up and started approaching him. "And... you are?"

"Kat," said the girl. "Call me... Kat."

"Cat as in meow, or--"

The woman cracked her whip, and Chase shut up. "Would you like to play a game with me, Wombat?"

Chase gulped. "How did you get in here?"

The woman shushed him. "If you don't want to play my game, then I suppose I'll have to punish you." She started stroking her whip.

Chase shook his head. "I'll play."

Katie grinned. It was by far the best night of her life. Though Chase didn't know it was her, she knew just who he was, and that's what really mattered... for now anyways. She got to seek her revenge, and have a little fun of her own with him as well...

TBC


	10. Revenge is Sweet

Revenge Is Sweet

"My, aren't you looking cheery this morning," said House with a smirk.

Chase just rolled his eyes at House and dismissed him. Truth was, he didn't exactly know HOW he felt. A mysterious woman had slept with him (and been a bit rowdier than even HE was used to) the night before. Normally that would cheer him up, but all joyful and erotic feelings that Chase had had were immediately extinguished when he woke up next to the one and only Nurse Katie.

"What?" asked House. "Aren't we talking today?"

"Leave it alone, House."

"Why should I? This is so much fun!"

Chase just huffed his way out of the Conference Room, not really sure where to go. They had no patient, which meant no tests. He also had little reason to be in the lab. And there was NO way he would go to the Clinic NOW. Maybe he could seek refuge in the cafeteria.

-----

"What's with the smile?" asked Brenda. "Your date go well last night?"

"Better than anything I could have ever imagined..." said Katie with a dreamy look in her eye.

"So I take it you've completely forgotten about Chase?" asked Brenda. "That's good, you're obsession with him was just... unhealthy."

"It was not!" shot Katie. "And I am NOT obsessed with him!"

"So you... aren't over him?"

Katie didn't have to answer the question. The blush that covered every inch of her body (and I mean EVERY inch) was answer enough.

Brenda just sighed and rolled her eyes. "You need to leave Chase alone, Kate."

-----

"What's up?" Cameron sat down across from Chase in the cafeteria, and she could tell there was something bothering him.

Chase looked up. "Where's your little boy-toy?"

Cameron smirked at Chase's choice of words. "He's in his office. Cuddy has banished us from clinic duty for the rest of the week. A bit ironic, no?"

Chase finally smiled, but that smile quickly faded.

"What's wrong?" asked Cameron.

Chase sighed. "You promise not to tell anyone?"

Cameron nodded.

-----

Foreman had been busy doing his clinic duty all day long. He was having an eerily good day, knowing that Chase had probably had a bittersweet night.

"Another case for you, Dr. Foreman." Katie handed over the file to Foreman.

"My my, Nurse Katie," said Foreman with a large grin. "Don't you look happy... What's going on?"

"I... used that bit of information you gave me," said Katie. "Oh god, did I use it." Katie's eyes closed as thoughts of her night before swam back into her mind.

Worried that she was going to start having an orgasm or something, Foreman quickly left for Exam Room 2, which was now back in full use ever since House and Cameron's ban from the Clinic.

-----

"You have GOT to be kidding me," said Cameron after Chase had recapped his night to Cameron. He made it a point to include the fact that Foreman was the one who let his secret slip, and that House knew all about it as well.

"Sadly, no," said Chase.

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"What am I supposed to do?" asked Chase. "My ex-best friend sold me out, and now some little blondie won't leave me the hell alone. Not to mention my boss knows ALL about it."

Cameron sighed. "Well, we'll just have to make Foreman think twice before he ever does anything like that again, won't we?"

TBC


	11. Payback is a B tch

Payback is a B!tch

"I can't believe you talked me into that," smirked Chase.

Cameron giggled from her desk as Chase continued to stare at her. "He was probably just expecting some juvenile prank, huh? Well, maybe this will make him think twice before gossiping about Robert Chase."

Chase grinned. "Or Allison Cameron for that matter."

"When did he gossip about me?!" Cameron's jaw dropped.

Chase didn't answer the question.

-----

Foreman had left work early that day because, well, he wanted to get out of Chase's sight. He did enjoy watching him squirm, but so far, he had managed to avoid any payback that Chase could dish up. Maybe Chase WAS just going to let this one slide...? No, that wasn't like Chase. He had to be planning something. Foreman slid the key into the lock of his door and turned on the lights, but he was frightened to hear a voice in the room as he entered.

"Oh we won't be needing those," said an obviously masculine voice coming from the couch.

Foreman wasn't sure what to do. Leave and come back? Run and call the cops? Like an idiot, Foreman's lips moved quicker than his brain. "Won't be needing what?"

The owner of the voice rose from the couch. It was definitely a man. He was wearing... not one, not two, but THREE pink boas?! And... oh god, was that FISHNET down his legs?! Foreman almost threw up at the sight. "The lights."

Foreman was confused. "What?"

"The lights," repeated the man. "We won't be needing them." He gave Foreman a saucy wink before advancing towards him, dropping a his boas to the ground seductively with each step.

"Oh god," muttered Foreman. "Who... Who are you?"

"Name's Andrew," said the man. "But you can call me Andy." He gave Foreman a wink.

The lights went out.

-----

"Why are you two so happy?" asked House as he walked into the rather dark Conference Room. It was nearly 8:00 and Chase was still here? Shouldn't he be out posing for his latest edition of 'Wombat Weekly' or 'The Katie Courier'? "There something you two want to tell me?" House shrugged his eyebrows suggestively.

Cameron smirked. "We just planned a little payback on Foreman."

"We wanted to wait and see if he would call here..."

"Why would he call--?" House's confusion was cut off by the ringing of a phone on Cameron's desk.

"Hello?" Cameron answered, trying to contain all laughter.

-----

"Cameron?" asked Foreman on the other end. The lights were now out in his apartment, and, well, let's just say he was in a position he wasn't favoring. "Is that you? Where's CHASE?!"

"He's right here... one second..."

"Not one second! NOW!" shouted Foreman. He was obviously in a 'sticky' situation.

Chase took the phone, laughing, of course. He put it on speakerphone for the whole department to hear. "Hello, Foreman. Can I help you?"

"CHASE!" shouted Foreman. "Why the HELL is there a GUY h my leg?!"

Chase burst into laughter. "Maybe... Maybe you should ask him to stop..."

Cameron cracked up when she heard Foreman tell the man to stop. The man was so obviously going harder.

"CHASE!" shouted Foreman. "WHAT THE HELL!"

Chase, Cameron, and even House were now bursting into laughter.

"IS THAT HOUSE?!" shouted Foreman through the phone. He could always tell when House was laughing. It was a loud guffaw, almost hyena-like. It was pure evil.

More laughter.

"UGH!" Foreman hung up the phone. Time to make the best of his night of man-sex.

TBC


	12. The Finale

The Finale

House stared down at a rather pale Foreman. "Gee, either Chase as taken another trip down under, or you've paled, Foreman!"

Chase walked up to House, Katie in tow. Both were... smiling?

"Maybe he HAS taken another trip down under..." mumbled House. "Why are you two smiling?"

Katie blushed at House before quickly scuttling away. This made House grin. "Chase, you dirty wombat, you."

Foreman's jaw dropped.

-----

"So I heard House had some fun last night," smirked Cuddy.

"In more than one way," grinned Wilson.

"Please," said Cuddy. "Don't elaborate."

Wilson laughed.

"So tell me, what did he do exactly?"

"What or who?"

"Um... I'm guessing that WHO was Cameron--"

Wilson shrugged and nodded.

"So that would leave what," said Cuddy.

Wilson smiled and proceeded to tell her of Chase and Cameron's prank on Foreman. House had filled him in on all the details immediately afterwards before heading off to have his own fun with Cameron.

Cuddy laughed. "He did NOT!"

Wilson nodded. "He did!"

"Oh, he is so horrible."

"That's what I keep telling him," said Wilson.

-----

Nurse Katie had been running so hard that she literally rammed into the Nurse's Station.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" asked Brenda. She immediately shook her head. "Sorry, again, House has said that too much."

Katie giggled.

"Seriously though, what's up?"

Katie plopped behind her desk and started looking down at the two dimensional papers. "House just found out a secret of mine."

"Not good," sighed Brenda. "The only people who gossip more in this hospital than you or I... are House and Wilson."

Katie sighed.

"So what did he find out?"

Katie grinned.

-----

"I can't believe you!" shouted Foreman. "First you send a male stripper to my apartment because I told Katie that you were into the dommes... and now, you are actually DATING her?!"

Chase laughed uneasily. "What can I say? The woman looks good in leather."

House smirked. This was just TOO good. "Isn't that illegal, Dr. Chase? I mean, she is underage after all."

"House, she is NOT a teenager, despite all your beliefs," sighed Chase. "She's twenty-seven."

"That's what you think," quipped House. "Trust me, I know how it feels to have all the underage girls on your 4ss. Literally."

"Yeah," said Foreman. "Now you and Cameron. THAT'S a REAL crime!"

"Hey," whined House, "She's not the only young, hot girl that's wanted to jump me!"

Chase scoffed. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you remember Ally..." House gave them a smirk.

"HOUSE!" shouted Foreman. "She was sick! She didn't REALLY want to jump you!"

House rolled his eyes. "Believe what you will."

-----

"He ACTUALLY agreed to DATE you?!" shouted Brenda in shock.

Katie nodded rapidly. "YES!"

"And you're SURE it's not a trick?"

Katie tilted her neck and crossed her arms. "Chase would NEVER do that to me!"

Brenda snorted. "Okay..."

"You don't believe me?!"

"You sure this isn't just a joke?"

"I'm positive."

"Okay..." sighed Brenda. "Then I guess a congrats are in order? The stalker finally caught her prey!"

"I never stalked him."

"Yeah, whatever."

-----

And as the rest of PPTH settled down into it's peace once more, trouble was stirring.

Cuddy pulled her lips apart from Wilson's and smiled at him, but he just laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" asked Cuddy, a little unsure of what to expect.

"We're the one couple in this hospital that actually has a REAL relationship," said Wilson, "And we're also the ONLY couple that Katie and Brenda have never gossiped about."

Cuddy looked at Wilson perplexed before giggling herself. "How right you are, Jimmy."

Wilson smiled. "You know," he said. "I hear Exam 2 is the place to be if you want to be on the cover of 'The Katie Courier.'"

Cuddy grinned. "Lead the way."

**Fin**


End file.
